Abusive relationships to reactions

Have you ever been hit? Emotionally drained and stripped of all dignity? Have you ever had someone force them into your self? I have. Years it has been and the pain was hidden in a closet somewhere in my body. Lately the pain has resurfaced and this time I am dealing with it head on. Personally i have come to the recognition that sheltered pain can turn into anger. The flight mode in the back of my mind takes flight. May have even continued the cycle of abuse. I hit my fiance for saying something in regards to a man who raped me. Never been one to use excuses but apparently my mind was so baffled by the words that the reflex was my backhanded him in the mouth. This isnt ok. Ever. As hard as it could have been to ignore, i didn’t. He was looking for a reaction. He most definitely got on. Pain turns to anger over a period of time if it’s not dealt with. As being someone who feels so strongly in stopping abuse I saught help for my reaction. It’s hard to admit something like this but it saved me from ever doing it again. Now with the help of not only my fiance understanding how certain things are sensitive to me but im also working with a woman who is helping focus on the pain. The pain that was hiding for years. Never be ashamed of help, seeking it or asking, It’s out there.

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